Assalamualaikum..
Today I realise a sad realisation. I am a disappointment. To who?
Myself.
I'm disappointed in what I've been unable to acheive, things that I should be able to. I love art. I love Infocomm Technology. I love debating. I love writing. However, lately, I realised that I haven't met the standards that I used to meet in these areas. Passion, has been killed by society. Everyone looks at me as a random kid in VS. To them I have no talents, no skills, no worth. I'm talking about Co-Curricular Activities.
Are we truly living in a world of meritocracy? Where leaders are chosen because of their skills and ability? Instead of their charisma and social status. In VS, it seems, there are many cases where they choose leaders who are popular and favoured by their seniors, peers and more importantly teachers. I write with deep thought, when I say that there are boundaries placed in place by society that cannot be broken. Ever.
I cannot handle the injustice the world is placing on me. I am seriously disappointed in myself. I do not blame my art teachers for being unable to see the artistic value in my works. I do not blame them for wanting more quality from me. Nor do I hate them for making me work for many late nights on a project, promising a leadership position, but then scrapping the entire project and giving the project AND the leadership position to another student without me knowing. All. Of. A. Sudden.
Years of experience and training. All down the drain of society's injustice. The social behaviour of mankind. There is no such thing as meritocracy amongst teenagers in ANY society. Favouritism runs DEEP in our blood. We vote for a leader because they appeal to us, not because of their ability.
What's the point? of having talent, yet it's unusable. Talent that cannot be used to contribute, if not to others, at the very least myself. I have the drive to learn more. I have been doing it for so many years. I've been driven by the possibility of making myself a better, more useful, person. I have never done anything for recognition or "brownie points". It was all for the betterment of myself. Any sort of recognition or reward is a bonus.
It gave me some sort of consolation, when I heard that the VS Malay Debate Team did not make through the first round. I was not chosen to be part of the team during the auditions. This kinda hurt me a little. Perhaps, thinking that way was selfish, despite offering its consolation to me.
I could go on and on talking about things I am disappointed in. Or I could, pick myself up and focus and what I kept me going for so long.
"Gonna' get me the knowledge, gonna study Islam
Am I going just to build my ego? so they call me “the Man”?
Does it matter if the people respect me, when its not for Allah?"
-'Intentions' By Native Deen..
My studies matters the most right now, and I am going to start afresh. Disappointed or not, it is all in the past and I can change NOTHING.
CA2 is coming nearer. And nearer.
Salam..Peace..
Today I realise a sad realisation. I am a disappointment. To who?
Myself.
I'm disappointed in what I've been unable to acheive, things that I should be able to. I love art. I love Infocomm Technology. I love debating. I love writing. However, lately, I realised that I haven't met the standards that I used to meet in these areas. Passion, has been killed by society. Everyone looks at me as a random kid in VS. To them I have no talents, no skills, no worth. I'm talking about Co-Curricular Activities.
Are we truly living in a world of meritocracy? Where leaders are chosen because of their skills and ability? Instead of their charisma and social status. In VS, it seems, there are many cases where they choose leaders who are popular and favoured by their seniors, peers and more importantly teachers. I write with deep thought, when I say that there are boundaries placed in place by society that cannot be broken. Ever.
I cannot handle the injustice the world is placing on me. I am seriously disappointed in myself. I do not blame my art teachers for being unable to see the artistic value in my works. I do not blame them for wanting more quality from me. Nor do I hate them for making me work for many late nights on a project, promising a leadership position, but then scrapping the entire project and giving the project AND the leadership position to another student without me knowing. All. Of. A. Sudden.
Years of experience and training. All down the drain of society's injustice. The social behaviour of mankind. There is no such thing as meritocracy amongst teenagers in ANY society. Favouritism runs DEEP in our blood. We vote for a leader because they appeal to us, not because of their ability.
What's the point? of having talent, yet it's unusable. Talent that cannot be used to contribute, if not to others, at the very least myself. I have the drive to learn more. I have been doing it for so many years. I've been driven by the possibility of making myself a better, more useful, person. I have never done anything for recognition or "brownie points". It was all for the betterment of myself. Any sort of recognition or reward is a bonus.
It gave me some sort of consolation, when I heard that the VS Malay Debate Team did not make through the first round. I was not chosen to be part of the team during the auditions. This kinda hurt me a little. Perhaps, thinking that way was selfish, despite offering its consolation to me.
I could go on and on talking about things I am disappointed in. Or I could, pick myself up and focus and what I kept me going for so long.
"Gonna' get me the knowledge, gonna study Islam
Am I going just to build my ego? so they call me “the Man”?
Does it matter if the people respect me, when its not for Allah?"
-'Intentions' By Native Deen..
My studies matters the most right now, and I am going to start afresh. Disappointed or not, it is all in the past and I can change NOTHING.
CA2 is coming nearer. And nearer.
Salam..Peace..
